Reading the post..it seems vote bank is important every where...
Munna Bhai MBBS ke hospital mein ek patient aaya:
Munna bhai: Pareshaan kaahe ko ho raha hai... Kya hua tere ko?
Patient: Munna bhai mere ko AIDS ho gaya hai.
Munna bhai: Kya locha karela re tu, tere ko AIDS kaise hua?
Patient: Bhai maine toh sirf Chumma liya tha.
Munna bhai: Ailaa.... Ae Circuit suna chumma lene bhi AIDS hota hai saala. Aaj se saare bhai log ko FACE MASK dene ka. Chumma lene se face mask pehenna zaruri hai.
Enjoy n start your day with a smile..................
P'njaab Airways : IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT
Gudmarning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.
On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor BantaSingh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaab Airways flight no. 9211(Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.
We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shiningbrightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.
Landing in Ludhianais not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage.
P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety standardsare so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid tofly with us.
I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p'ssaingershave reached to their dest'nation.
For the rest 10%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience forconsoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief youon our out-of-court settlement policies.
If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off forcomfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.
For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you tocontact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books willbe quickly distributed.
We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not recordit from the tallyvision due to power cut.
But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can beseen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened
For your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have putbinoculars under the seat.
If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment.Our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flightstewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!!
Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dalmakhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi.
There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights..
As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights overP'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on theengines.
Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your frontside. It is not a hand fan.
The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.
Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any ofour 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.
Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off & landing. Also donot use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to thefloor during take off and landing.
Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for stewardor airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.
We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air siknessproblems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets
Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways
Marriageis the only war where
onesleeps with the enemy.
Whena man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
Aftermarriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't
faceeach other, but still they stay together.
Byall means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
badone, you'll become a philosopher.
Womaninspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Thegreat question... which I have not been able to answer.... is, "What
doesa woman want?
I hadsome words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
"Somepeople ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restauranttwo times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing.She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"Idon't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
"There'sa way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking.It's called marriage."
"I'vehad bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second
onedidn't." The third gave me more children!
Twosecrets to keep your marriage brimming
1..Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2.Whenever you're right, shut up.
Themost effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
Youknow what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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