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Old October 8 2012, 01:23 PM   #6141
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lol

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Old October 8 2012, 01:24 PM   #6142
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kool
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Old October 8 2012, 01:27 PM   #6143
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Old October 9 2012, 03:07 AM   #6144
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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage.

I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"

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Old October 9 2012, 03:16 AM   #6145
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This one big lawyer from the city decided to take time away from his busy day and went out to the farm and shot a duck.

The farmer walks out Of his building upon hearing the shot and screams at the city guy - "HEY You Cant shoot that duck on my property. That duck belongs to me. Hand it over!"

The city guy says, 'Hell no I shot him so I get to keep him!"
The farmer and the city boy decide to settle it country style (which is to kick each other in the nuts till the other one falls over")

So the farmer goes first and slams the city boy a nice hard stiff kick. Upon receiving the kick, the city boy damn near colllapses from the pain.

The city boy regains his balance And studders "Its my turn"
The famer looks at him and says - "aw Hell, keep the damn duck!

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Old October 9 2012, 03:18 AM   #6146
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A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:

"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.

Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.

Then as she was about to leave the house, she had paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"

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Old October 9 2012, 03:23 AM   #6147
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I've just bought my Wife one of those pugs as a surprise present. Despite the squashed nose, wonky eyes and trouble breathing due to the weight gain over the years, the dog seems to like her.
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Old October 9 2012, 06:59 AM   #6148
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One Day Priest Lost His Cock (Murga)

He Asked In Church: "Does Anyone Has A Cock?"

All The Men Stood Up

Then He Asked: "Does Anyone Has Seen A Cock?"

All Women Stood Up

Finally He Asked: "Has Anyone Seen My Cock?"

Nuns Stood Up..
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Old October 9 2012, 07:06 AM   #6149
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1. Tension is when wife is pregnant!

2. Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!

3. Horror is when both are pregnant!

4. Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!
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Old October 9 2012, 08:44 AM   #6150
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प्लॉट के लिए आवेदन करने पहुंचे 'रॉयल गरीब'


गुड़गांव
हाथ
में सोने का कड़ा , गले में चेन , उंगली में अंगूठी और कार व बाइक की सवारी फिर भी गरीब। सेक्टर -14 स्थित हरियाणा अर्बन डिवेलपमेंट अथॉरिटी ( हूडा ) ऑफिस में कुछ ऐसे ही गरीब पहुंच रहे हैं। यहां गरीबी रेखा से नीचे जीवनयापन करने वाले लोगों के लिए सेक्टर -10 ए में 17 प्लॉट को लेकर आवेदन आमंत्रित किए गए थे। सोमवार को आवेदन फॉर्मों को जमा करवाने का अंतिम दिन था। यहां पहुंचे 90 पर्सेंट लोग कार और बाइक से पहुंचे , जबकि शर्त यह है कि 2500 रुपये से अधिक मासिक आय वाला व्यक्ति गरीब नहीं है।

8 अगस्त को आवेदन आमंत्रित किए गए थे। आवेदकों को 8 अक्टूबर तक आवेदन फॉर्मों को जमा करवाना था। फॉर्म के साथ ईडब्ल्यूएस का राशन कार्ड लगाकर हरियाणा का निवासी होने का डोमेसाइल भी देना था। इस स्कीम के तहत 4 अक्टूबर तक 8000 फॉर्म पहुंचें थे , जिसमें से सभी बिक गए थे। 5 अक्टूबर को 1500 और फॉर्म पहुंचे , जिनमें से 300 फॉर्म तो उसी दिन बिक गए। सोमवार को ऑफिस खुलते ही फॉर्म खरीदने और जमा करवाने वालों की भीड़ इकट्ठा हो गई। सुबह से लेकर शाम तक करीब 1000 फॉर्म बेचे गए। इसी दौरान 1200 से अधिक फॉर्म जमा किए गए।

nbt
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