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Apologies to everyone in advance for this thread but i think something like this will lighten up the mood for everyone ....if some people also contributes there share of RE/Money/Insurance/Loan etc related jokes everyday....I think that will be cool.

Here is my first one - which i just love

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to
the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the most
respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, " It was St. Patrick ."
The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, " It was St. Andrew ."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, " It was Jesus Christ ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and
I'll give you the £20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know
Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus
Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but
business is business!"


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  • It takes thousand workers to buid a castle,Million soldiers to protect a country, but just one Woman to make a happy home.
    ' A good maid'.
  • A boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?

    "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

    Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?

    "Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied. He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?

    "We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

    The mother paused and said to her son... "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"
  • In exam hall a girl to santa:
    Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi.
    SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola:
  • hahahhaha
  • A successful marriage is based
    On give and take:
    Where husband gives money,
    Gifts, dresses n wife takes it
    Where wife gives advices, lectures,
    Tensions husband takes it..!!. :D
  • Santa ne ek Makhi pakadi, uskey par tod kar bola, Chal jaa udd ja,Makhi ko udta na dekh phir garv se bola, Dekha issey yeh sabit ho jata he ki agar makhi ke pankh tod do to woh sun nahi sakti.
  • Underwear Color

    Three blondes passed every day through a street that led them from their room to their office. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

    One day, they heard, "Red, blue, black."

    One of the blondes noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to her friends, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.

    The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."

    Hearing that, girls were astonished!! One of the blondes spoke up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird."

    Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should wear any underwear. So, next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house.

    They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.

    Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"
  • Virgin Husband

    A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'.

    With this advice from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to get her mother's blessings to marry.

    "Mother, I've met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?"

    Her mother nodded in agreement.

    "Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, they'll share one room only. Isn't he not thrifty guy?"

    For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern.

    "And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin"

    "How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked with repidition. "MMM...his 'that one' is still new and hard....all wrapped up in plastic, mum!"
  • Ye baat samajh me aayi nahi,
    Aur mummy ne mujhe samajhai nahi.

    kaise mithi baat karu Main?
    Jab mithi koi cheez maine khai nhi.
    Ye chand kyo maamu hai mera?
    Jab mumy ka wo bhai nahi.

    Kyu lambe baal hai bhaalu ke?
    Kyu usne triming karai nahi.
    Kya wo bi ganda bachha hai?
    Ya jungle me koi naai nahi.

    Nana ki biwi jab nani hai,
    Dada ki biwi jab dadi hai.
    Papa ki biwi kyon papi nahi?

    Samundar ka rang kyu neela hai?
    Jab neel kisi ne milai nahi.
    Jab school me itni neend aati hai.
    Toh kyu bed waha rakhwai nahi?

    Ye baat samajh mein aayi nahi
    Aur mummy ne mujhe samjhai nhai.
  • A girl's FB status update. ''Met my ex boyfriend today. Things went well, then suddenly he said that he would gift me an iphone 5 if I had with him!!
    Men are such dogs!

    - updated via new iPhone 5
  • Ghalib:

    Hume to apno ne luta
    Gairon mein kahan dum tha
    Meri kashti hi dubi wahan
    jahan paani kam thaa.....

    Ghalib's Wife:

    Tum toh they hi be-akkal.. ,
    Tumhare bheje mein kahan dum tha..
    Wahan Kashti leke gaye hi kyun..
    Jahan Paani kum tha!!
  • Meri shaadi ke raat bhagwaanji mere sapne mein aaye aur boley, maine tumhe aisi biwi di hai ki tum confuse ho jaaogey ki sazaa hai ya mazaa !!
  • Board at a Restaurant : We serve food as "HOT" as your neighbour's WIFE.... as "COLD" as your OWN !!
  • Santa shaadi mein khana khane gaya
    Par samane Salad ka counter dekh kar wapis aa gaya
    Baahar aakar bola O banta,
    abhi to sabzi hi kat rahi he
  • 2 Seat wala Helicopter KABRISTAN mein Crash ho gaya.

    Next Day TV par Headline :

    Two Seater Jahaj Gira.

    Punjab Police ne 150 Lashein Dhoond Nikali aur

    Abhi Talash Jaari Hai...