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Apologies to everyone in advance for this thread but i think something like this will lighten up the mood for everyone ....if some people also contributes there share of RE/Money/Insurance/Loan etc related jokes everyday....I think that will be cool.

Here is my first one - which i just love

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to
the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the most
respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, " It was St. Patrick ."
The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, " It was St. Andrew ."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, " It was Jesus Christ ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and
I'll give you the £20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know
Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus
Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but
business is business!"


:-))))

Regards
Sbajaj
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    Bada bura hua ji aapke saath.


    OK - next time
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  • I first abused when I was in 2nd standard..

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  • Please reply

    Please help ---

    Ladies and gents.............
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  • sh

    sh
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  • What would happen If Mahabharata would happen in this era.... :

    2. Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG cylinders for 102 of them.

    3. Media would target Shree Krishna as Dwarka was in Gujarat.

    4. Duryodhan would get Draupadi arrested u/s 66A of IT Act for updating her FB status; "Andhe ka putra andha hi hoga."

    5. Nandan Nilkeni would go mad trying to capture AADHAR data at the Kaurava household.

    6. India TV headlines will be 'Draupdi ki saaree ka raaz, khulega Aaj, theek raat 8 baze!

    7. TV reporters will ask Bheesm Pitamah on the bed of arrows: "How are you feeling? Kaise lag raha hai?"

    8. After 13 years of Vanwaass Pandavas would have turned into Naxals.

    9. Sanjaya would have minted billions by selling satellite rights for the kurukshetra war.

    10. Barkha's show would be renamed: 'The Yudh Stops Here'; Sagarika's: 'Face the Yudh' and Arnab's: 'The Yudh Hour'

    11. Only ND Tiwari will come close to having 100 children.

    12. There would be a 'Justice for Kauravas' campaign by Arundhati Roy at India Gate against Pandavas for massacring the whole family.

    13. Pandavas would have had to shift frequently because DLF and Jaypee Group would frequently take over jungles for housing projects!!!
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  • Santa Ki Shaadi Ke Liye Ladki Ke Baap Ne Santa Se Puchha.
    Baap: “Akal Badi Ya Bhains?”
    Santa Ne Bohat Der Sochha Aur Phir Jawab Diya.
    Santa: “Tumne Mujhe Paagal Samjha Hai?, Date Of Birth To Batayi Hi Nahi“
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    mana hai...

    Lady: Kamine kapade utarne k pehele Q nhi bataya..?
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    Security: Pabandi sirf nahane pe hai
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  • Aurat Chappal Wali Dukaan Pe.
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    Dukandar: “Number Kya Hai?”
    Aurat: “36 Number”
    Dukandar: “Bhabhi Ji, Dimag Pe Zor Laga Ke Socho, Kya Lene Aayi Ho“
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  • Two kids in the hospital




    Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day.

    The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'

    The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'



    The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and Ice Cream. It's a breeze.'

    The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'

    The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'

    Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born.. Couldn't walk for a year.




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  • Mom to Children: Jo meri baat maanega aur mere aage kuch nahi bolega, usey mein gift doongi.


    Children: Lo is tarah to saare gift Papa hee le jayenge
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  • A Pakisitani boy got admission in an American school.

    Teacher: What's your name?

    Boy: Ahmad

    Teacher: No, now you are in America your name is Johny from today.

    Boy went home. Mom Asked: how was the day Ahmad?

    Boy: I am an American now call me Johnny.

    Mom & Dad both got offended and beat him up.

    Next day he was back to school, all bruised

    Teacher: What happened Johnny?

    Boy: Ma'am, just 4 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistanis.
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