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:bab (35):Here's another one:bab (35):
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.'
The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE' :bab (7):CommentQuote2Flag
- Buy Me Out !!!!!
:DHere's to all RE agent son in laws....LoL.....:D
A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand agents."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperworks."
"I hate paperworks," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like office and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
- Under Water !!!
:bab (6):A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
“That customer's going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”
“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.”:bab (6):CommentQuote1Flag
- vikramwix, good ones .:DCommentQuote0Flag
- Originally Posted by MANOJavikramwix, good ones .:D
Thank you Manoj Jee, Just wanted to brighten up the mood of all forum members :)CommentQuote0Flag
- Great, humor is very much required here, its badly missing . & please keep on adding more jokes, as often as possible .:)CommentQuote0Flag
- Originally Posted by MANOJaGreat, humor is very much required here, its badly missing . & please keep on adding more jokes, as often as possible .:)
Roger that Captain :bab (35):CommentQuote0Flag
- Wrong Flowers!!
:bab (45):A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".:bab (45):CommentQuote0Flag
- The Usual Questions!!
:oA property manager of a single family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions:
"We're a military family," the wife answered.
"Children?" "Yes, nine and twelve," she said proudly.
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved.":oCommentQuote0Flag
- Really Old License !!
:bab (38):A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain - two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!"
Finally she got the listing.:bab (38):CommentQuote0Flag
- Wife or Mistress ?
:bab (58):A doctor, a lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The real estate agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you can go and sell some homes.:bab (58):CommentQuote0Flag
- The Line!!
:DA young broker had just started his own real estate office. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your lines.":DCommentQuote0Flag
- The Negotiation !!
Q: What is the difference in a terrorist and a loan underwriter?
A: You can negotiate with the terrorist.:bab (6):CommentQuote0Flag
- What's You IQ ??
Einstien dies and goes to heaven. First person he see he asks, "Excuse me? What's your IQ"
The person replies, 280. Einstien says, great! We can talk about astro physics!
2nd person he runs into he asks the same question, what's your IQ?
The person replies, 150. Great! says Einstien, we can talk about events of the day!
3rd person he sees he once again asks about their IQ. This time the person says 45!
Einstiens says, Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!:)CommentQuote0Flag
- LOL. A good one, vikramwix . :bab (56):CommentQuote0Flag