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Joke of the Day :-))
August 5 2012 , 05:39 PM   #4771
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Nirmal Baba

lol
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Dil Jawan Hai To Jahan Hai
August 5 2012 , 07:49 PM   #4772
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217916 432579040127657 1498262748 n
August 5 2012 , 08:56 PM   #4773
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मनमोहन के सिर पर चोट लगी थी।
डॉक्टर: यह कैसे हुआ?
मनमोहन: मैं हाथ से दीवार तोड़ रहा था तो किसी ने कहा कि कभी-कभी खोपड़ी का भी इस्तेमाल कर लिया करो।
August 5 2012 , 09:02 PM   #4774
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बंता: बड़ा ही समार्ट लग रहा है!
संता: तो फिर करा दे न, अपनी बहन का रिश्ता!
August 5 2012 , 09:03 PM   #4775
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मैं अकेला ही चला जा रहा था;
मंजिल जाने बगैर!
"डी एन ए" टेस्ट होते गए;
और कारवां(परिवार) बढता गया!

:एन. डी. तिवारी
August 5 2012 , 09:03 PM   #4776
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जीतो: सुना है, तुम चौथी बार शादी करने जा रही हो?
प्रीतो: हां, क्या करू, पहले पति भगवान् को प्यारे हो गए, दूसरे पड़ोसन को और तीसरे iref को!
August 5 2012 , 09:04 PM   #4777
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दोस्तों से बिछड़ के यह एहसास हुआ, ग़ालिब;
थे तो कमीने लेकिन रौनक भी उन्ही से थी!
August 5 2012 , 09:04 PM   #4778
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एक बार एक पति शराब पीकर घर आता है और अपनी पत्‍‌नी की डांट से बचने के लिए किताब पढ़ने का नाटक करने लगता है!

पत्‍‌नी- आज फिर शराब पीकर आये हो?

पति- न.नहीं तो!

पत्‍‌नी- तो फिर ये सूटकेस खोलकर क्या कर रहे हो?
August 6 2012 , 09:03 AM   #4779
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A short story read a long time back

A young priest joined a church after death of his predecessor. He called all the staff & said,"We should emphasis on education so that our people grow in all the fields of life. This will not only bring prosperity but also avoid evils. So, lets begin from our own home. U all tell me about ur education".

Everybody complied except the David who used to pull rope to ring bell during prayers. Actually he was illiterate. So, the priest said to him," For larger benefits of the society at large, little sacrifices have to be made. So, David, take ur full & final settlement from accountant".

While sadly going back to his home David begun 2 have an urge to smoke tobacco. He tried 2 find a shop but couldn't get one and reached home without smoking tobacco. He got an idea & opened a little tobacco shop in the middle of that 3-4 km stretch. From very first day his idea was successful as he was not able to meet the demand. So he doubled then tripled the volume of busyness, still the demand was there.

Then he opened similar shop for his unemployed son at the start of that road and got similar success. To cut short he keep of opening shops & employed first his relatives then the people from his village. Finally he established a very big chain of small outlets selling tobacco in whole of the city & then in the state. The basic idea was same to open shop at such a place where no other such tobacco shop was available.

Now David became, the richest man of the city. One day the manager of city branch of the biggest bank of the country came 2 David. He asked him where he keeps his money. David replied,"In cash chest". The manager convinced him 2 deposit money in his branch so that it would not only remain safe but also earn interest. David agreed. Manager filled the account opening form then asked David to sign. David told him that he was illiterate & could not sign. The manager asked in surprise," You established such a big busyness empire in spite of being illiterate. What would u had done, if u were educated". David replied calmly, "

GHANTA BAJATA

p.s. thats exactly what educated people r doingBottom of Form
August 6 2012 , 10:12 AM   #4780
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Installing husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and

Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Signed,

REPLY ....

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to turn default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta


Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend: Cooking 3.0and Good Looks 7.7


Good Luck Madam!
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